God took some clay and fashioned a man, and there was a little clay left over.
"What else shall I make for you?", asked God. The man thought it over, he had
hands, feet, a head, what else? "Make me happiness!", he said. But God, even all-seeing
and all-knowing, didn't know what this was. So, he gave the man the clay and said,
"here, make your own happiness".
To our success
A young woman married a well-to-do old man. As she lay in bed by herself she thought,
"I will take myself three lovers, and live a long..." At that moment, there was
a knock on the door and into the room shuffled her old husband in nightshirt and
cap. He bleated in a goatish tenor, "I have come to fulfill my marital obligation!"
"Well, ok", she said. "Do it." He did and left. The young woman thought to herself,
"No, perhaps three is too many. I'll take two lovwrs, in addition to my husband".
Again there came a knock on the door and the old man shuffled in his slippers.
"Ihave come to fulfill my material obligation!"
Surprised, she said, "Well,
ok, then". He did his duty and left. "Hmmm", she thought. "Maybe just one lover
will be enough." Again came a knock on the door. "Come in!", she shouted. "I have
come to fulfill my Marital obligation!" "Do it, since you have come!"
When
she was alone again, she reflected to herself. "How will I be able to have any
lovers when my husband is at me all night!" Again a knock on the door. "I have
come to fulfill my..." She cried, "How many times can you have me in one night?!
I can't do it anymore!
"What?", the old man said. "Have I already done my
duty?" And he struck himself on the forehead with vexation.
So let us drink
in hopes that medicine will never find the cure for sclerosis!
In the jungle lived a pack of wolves. The leader of the pack was already old and
very experienced. Once, when the pack got ready to hunt, the old wolf said that
he was not in a condition to lead this time. A young and strong wolf came to him
and asked to lead the pack. The old wolf agreed. Not long after, the pack returned
with prey. The young wolf told the old one how they had come upon seven hunters
and easily torn them to pieces.
The time to hunt again soon came. And again
the young wolf led the pack. They were gone a long time, and then the young wolf
appeared covered with blood. He told the lead how the pack had come upon three
hunters, and of the entire pack only he survived. The old leader asked, "On the
first hunt, the pack handled seven hunters and even returned with prey. What happened
this time?"
The young wolf replied, "That time we came upon seven hunters,
but this time it was three best friends."
Let us drink to friendship!
Once there was a young man who was his parent's only child. His life was happy
and full of good times. When his friends came, the table would groan under the
weight of food and drink. He met a beautiful girl and decided marry her. His father
said to him, "we will invite all your friends". His son agreed.
Finally, the
wonderful day of the wedding arrived. But no friends came. Not understanding why,
the man asked his father what had happened and had the invitations been sent to
his friends. His father replied, "I sent invitations to all your friends, but
with the wedding announcements I also asked each to help you. And you can see
the result."
So, let us drink to the friends who always come to help us!
It was night, quiet and moonlit, and just the two of them. He said, "yes". She
said, "no". The years passed. It was night, quiet and moonlit, and again, just
the two of them. She said, "yes". But not only the years had passed...
So
let us drink in the hopes that everything in life will happen at the right time!
Two friends were traveling to market to sell their wine. On the way, they stopped
to rest and eat. "How good it would be to drink a glass of wine now", sighed one.
"Good indeed", said the other. "But we are bringing this wine to sell and can't
waste a single drop." The first rummaged through his pockets and found a five-kopeck
coin. "Pour me five-kopeck's worth of wine", he said. His friend poured the wine
and, handing him back his money, said, "Now pour me some". So the money went back
and fourth until the wineskins were empty and the two friends snored drunkenly,
well-satisfied with their deal.
So we drink to successful transactions!
A tiny sparrow sat on the road, freezing in the bitter cold. Along came a cow,
who swung her tail and dropped her warm shit on the poor bird. Sitting up to his
neck in shit, the sparrow warmed up nicely and began to chirp with joy. A passing
cat heard him singing, and seized and ate him...
So, friends, we drink and
remember that not everyone is an enemy who shits on you, nor a friend who gets
you out. And if you get into the shit, just sit and be quiet!
A donkey was crossing the desert. One day, two days, three, a week ... how terrible
was the heat! Suddenly, he saw two large kegs. One was full of water, the other
of vodka. From which keg do you think he drank? Of course, the water!
So let's
not be donkeys, and, drink vodka!
Once upon a time there was a king, to whom it was foretold that his wife would
bear a child, but not his own. So, he imprisoned her on the roof of the castle.
But after nine months, she bore a child anyway.
So, we drink to Carlson, who
lives on the roof!
